knackered!

went to bed about 2ish, but was up & wide awake by 7.
What the hell do you have to do to get a real nights sleep with this god forsaken illness? its 9.45am and I cant believe how tired I feel. I'm off to Oldham later and am looking forward to it. 2 days with very few cares in the world...
Then on Saturday its Sudbury for my uncles 65th and a night in Ipswich before calling in to Cambridge for an hour on the way home.
By the time we get back, I will be dead to the world again!
I want to be able to get up at 7 and go to work, come home and do the things normal people do (whatever that might be).
I remember dating a girl (she was younger than me) who kept a diary that detailed every time she had been unfaithful to me with some bloke she met at the pub she worked in. I Loved her and it gutted me to break up with her, but ultimately I met Sue, fell in love, married & we had Robert.
Looking back, With Helene, I was in love with a very good looking blonde girl who was not ready for either love or commitment. Where ever she is now, I hope she is happy. She deserves it.
Sue on the other hand, deserves better than me. I have never cheated on her, but I dont feel like I have been as good a husband as she deserves. With the strokes & now the bi polar, I'm slowly killing her I feel.
Perhaps this couple of days will help us both relax.
Oh well, I'd better finish packing...My lift leaves Leeds @4ish