The pain & the joy

What a wonderful Sunday. These are the sort of days that make me realise, no matter how bad I feel or how down, its worth hanging on.
My mum came for a visit & brought the newest addition to the family, Louisa, My youngest Brothers daughter.
She is a bundle of fun, just like all babies. Giggles, laughs and just a lovely little person to be around.
Also in tow was my other Brothers son, Joshua. I have so much time for Josh. He is about a year younger than my eldest, but what a crappy hand he was dealt.
First up his Dad, my Brother, dies of a smack overdose when he was about 10, then, just as he starts to get to grips with that, his mother gets sent to prison for 5 years for dealing.
Despite all this, he never misses school, is a fantastic artist and is training at college to become a bricklayer.
There are just some people who you look at & have to think "Well Done". It would have been so easy for him to fall into the same sort of traps his Mum & Dad did, living on a rough as hell council estate in Hull, but he went the other way, and although he has had a brush with the law, for grafitting, he is on the right track & shows no signs as far as I can see of falling off.

The point I'm tryingto make is that its looking at how Josh coped with all that went on and how his outlook is (despite the usual teen sullen sulks) always bright. He actually inspires me to keep going, even if things are really dark with my B.P.

No matter how old you get, its always great to get a visit from your Mum! And when she has almost all her Grandkids around her, she is at her happiest.

About 30 minuted before she arrived, I managed to smash the outside of my ankle on the stairs. It swelled up like you wouldnt believe. I'll have to be more carefull AFTER the plate goes as there will be holes all over the bone & it will be liable to snapping...So, as the house filled up, I'm still sat in dressing gown with the ankle encased in ice & chewing pain killers like they are smarties.

I'm starting to feel the end of this down period I've been in for just over a week, helped by a lovely visit from Family...
Sometimes, its just the simple things that make it better. When I saw my shrink last week and told her how bad I was feeling, the first thing she said was "back on the pills". I told her no and am glad I did.
I'm back to see her on Tuesday with my Wife...